Kids or Parents - the problem
i read this interesting article TODAY from Yvonne Lim (Voices & Commentary editor)
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We have a problem, no kid
Readers chime in on how to get S'poreans' baby-making juices flowing ... so to speak
NO SUGGESTION is too far-fetched, it seems, in the desperation to get Singaporeans to breed more prolifically.
.The rate at which readers conceived views and ideas — with more than 40 letters received over a fortnight — proved that the topic, if not the populace, was fertile ground indeed.
.Even so, Ong Kean Hin's proposal ("1 S'pore wife + 1 foreign wife = more babies", Aug 25") to promote polygamy proved too much to swallow for most readers, who derided it as ridiculous, preposterous, chauvinistic.
.Readers such as Junifer Chua and Lewis Kong countered with a "1 S'pore husband + 1 second husband = even more babies" equation. Dianne Loh retorted: "Reading the letter has finally enabled me to pinpoint exactly why Singapore women are just not taking the bait of Singapore men."
.In an as-yet unpublished response to all this, Ong says he is "glad to see that Singaporeans are mature and responded well. I had expected worse. Anyway, I am glad people took my suggestion as a joke."
.A father of three, he shares that were he to plan his family today, he would do things very differently. "When we planned our family back in 1990 as a young couple, we were confident we would have our jobs and would continue to earn more.
."But if you were to ask any Singaporean today, his view would be different. Many worry about their job and pay cuts. Coupled with the increasing costs of healthcare and education, few would dare to have more children.
."Company cost-cutting often means making two persons do work meant for three. The two who are working are so stressed that their ability to reproduce drops drastically, while the third who is jobless is in no mood to reproduce.
."Singapore has to learn that life is not always about profit," Ong concludes.
.His comments essentially sum up the problem as most readers see it: Can Singaporeans today afford to make babies?
.While it might be argued that it is too soon to really call the results, some readers were quick to dismiss the Government's baby bonuses — introduced in 2001 and enhanced in 2004 — as having failed to achieve their desired effect. At best, they provide short-term relief, they said.
.Reader C J Lim, who got married in his early 20s and has one child, shared what was holding them back from having more. "We are not rich and have many commitments, such as supporting our parents. From the moment you realise that your wife is pregnant until your baby is born, you need to pay about $10,000," he said.
."One day, I took my daughter on the bus and the driver demanded that I pay the fare for my four-year-old daughter.
."It's also very expensive to have to pay the full adult movie ticket price for a kid her age just because she is 90cm tall. And every time my daughter is sick, I need to pay more than $100 to take her to a doctor."
.What he thinks the Government should look into: The daunting hospital maternity bills and transport fees, as well as allowing the use of Medisave to pay the full maternity delivery fee and for the treatment for children.
.Larry Ong, with one daughter and another child on the way, points to other roadblocks for couples.
.Infant and childcare costs are certainly formidable. "My daughter's first 18 months in infant care cost us $800 x 18 = $14,400 ... and that was four years ago."
.And then there is the future to think of. "So many companies are cutting manpower and costs. I really worry about our children's future: Will there be enough jobs for them and us?"
.Soh Poh Huat also reflected another worrying trend: "I am just wondering whether our employers support our Government's policies. Recently, my sister-in-law was demoted and had a pay cut when her employer discovered she was pregnant. I hope the Manpower Ministry or labour movement will 'shame' such companies."
.Michael Loh Yik Ming summed up the conundrum thus: "The young working generation today have been trained well to look at life in terms of assets and liabilities. The truth is, children today are liabilities; a drain in terms of time, money, attention and almost every part of any parent's life.
."Indeed, reflecting upon their lives, they have come to realise that they themselves were a burden and liability to their own parents. We hear stories of parents mortgaging their homes to provide funds for a university education, or even pulling double shifts just to make ends meet, or for that extra dollar for music lessons."
.So, how can we get parents to see kids as not liabilities, but assets?
.Wong Teck Hian ("Having babies — the costs and the joys", Aug 24) suggested granting further housing subsidies progressively, the more babies a couple has.
.Tan Keng Soon ("To boost births, reform the CPF", Aug 23) offered a unique solution. Harking back to the old days of farming communities, he noted that families were large for very practical reasons — manpower for farmwork, and a source of support for parents in their old age.
.But that compulsion to have babies no longer exists today. It can, however, be recreated. Tan suggested mandating that children, once they start working, contribute to their mother's CPF account — becoming, in effect, a source of "pension funds" for the parents.
.In response, readers pointed out problems, such as the fact that children who already have it tough enough at the start of their career (servicing housing loans, for instance) will be even more burdened.
.Some, like William Tay, found it "disgusting" to think of babies in terms of assets and liabilities. Charles Tan Meah Yang found it "extremely worrying".
."To suggest that we impose further controls over our money, our children's money — and to arbitrarily decide what percentage of a child's salary his parents deserve — is appalling, and reminiscent of a chauvinistic Chinese era long past," he said.
."What of abusive or absent parents, would they qualify? And what kind of upbringing would a parent give a "cash cow" child? One with all work and no play, I suspect."
.Such passion can be appreciated. But in this flawed world, must we bow to the modern reality of human nature — namely, that Singaporeans won't have babies until they are convinced of how it will tangibly benefit them?
.Lynn Tan argues that for young couples today, investing in oneself makes more sense than an uncertain investment in a child.
."Past generations adopt the get-married-and-have-children mentality without question and assume it is part of what my grandmother calls 'the circle of life'. But with a generation of married couples who are well-educated and who value their freedom and quality of life even after marriage, children are no longer top priority," she says.
."Rather than investing time and money in a child where the returns are not guaranteed, it might make more sense to spend that time and money on pursuits that will elevate your material status, broaden your mind or improve your general well-being.
."My husband always reminds me that when and if we decide to have a child, we must do it without expecting anything in return. I find this very difficult because I feel that it is this expectation that strengthens the parent-child bond ... for me, there are other priorities a-calling."
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i never realise that i love kids after my girl is around, after seeing my nephews & nieces. it could probably be an influence from my mum who babysitted 7 babies before.
my parents had to suffer a penalty from the govt becos they have 4 children (during their times, 3 is the max). Irony....now they want more kids. (can i request for a cash rebate for my dad now?)
what's the crap about govt giving more perks? what's the idea of "investing time and money in child where the returns are not guaranteed, ...pursuing dreams"? you can still pursue dreams with kids around.
top 5 reasons couples avoided having kids:
- not enough money.
- have not fulfill that vacation trip.
- need to further study.
- no one to take care of kids if born.
- no time.
Verdict: Coward and Selfish.
ask yourself this: "do you like kids or children?". do you dare to take the ultimate challenge in life "raising your kid to be a useful person in the society"?
i was with an IT Manager the other day, he has 4 kids now (kudos!). his wife is not working (cos her job is to raise and mould their kids to become respectable and responsible people when they grow up). he looked so stressed with work but was glimmering when we talked about kids.
DON'T EXPECT RETURNS FROM KIDS. pay it forward <- watch this DVD (by Kevin Spacey).
-------------------------------------------
We have a problem, no kid
Readers chime in on how to get S'poreans' baby-making juices flowing ... so to speak
NO SUGGESTION is too far-fetched, it seems, in the desperation to get Singaporeans to breed more prolifically.
.The rate at which readers conceived views and ideas — with more than 40 letters received over a fortnight — proved that the topic, if not the populace, was fertile ground indeed.
.Even so, Ong Kean Hin's proposal ("1 S'pore wife + 1 foreign wife = more babies", Aug 25") to promote polygamy proved too much to swallow for most readers, who derided it as ridiculous, preposterous, chauvinistic.
.Readers such as Junifer Chua and Lewis Kong countered with a "1 S'pore husband + 1 second husband = even more babies" equation. Dianne Loh retorted: "Reading the letter has finally enabled me to pinpoint exactly why Singapore women are just not taking the bait of Singapore men."
.In an as-yet unpublished response to all this, Ong says he is "glad to see that Singaporeans are mature and responded well. I had expected worse. Anyway, I am glad people took my suggestion as a joke."
.A father of three, he shares that were he to plan his family today, he would do things very differently. "When we planned our family back in 1990 as a young couple, we were confident we would have our jobs and would continue to earn more.
."But if you were to ask any Singaporean today, his view would be different. Many worry about their job and pay cuts. Coupled with the increasing costs of healthcare and education, few would dare to have more children.
."Company cost-cutting often means making two persons do work meant for three. The two who are working are so stressed that their ability to reproduce drops drastically, while the third who is jobless is in no mood to reproduce.
."Singapore has to learn that life is not always about profit," Ong concludes.
.His comments essentially sum up the problem as most readers see it: Can Singaporeans today afford to make babies?
.While it might be argued that it is too soon to really call the results, some readers were quick to dismiss the Government's baby bonuses — introduced in 2001 and enhanced in 2004 — as having failed to achieve their desired effect. At best, they provide short-term relief, they said.
.Reader C J Lim, who got married in his early 20s and has one child, shared what was holding them back from having more. "We are not rich and have many commitments, such as supporting our parents. From the moment you realise that your wife is pregnant until your baby is born, you need to pay about $10,000," he said.
."One day, I took my daughter on the bus and the driver demanded that I pay the fare for my four-year-old daughter.
."It's also very expensive to have to pay the full adult movie ticket price for a kid her age just because she is 90cm tall. And every time my daughter is sick, I need to pay more than $100 to take her to a doctor."
.What he thinks the Government should look into: The daunting hospital maternity bills and transport fees, as well as allowing the use of Medisave to pay the full maternity delivery fee and for the treatment for children.
.Larry Ong, with one daughter and another child on the way, points to other roadblocks for couples.
.Infant and childcare costs are certainly formidable. "My daughter's first 18 months in infant care cost us $800 x 18 = $14,400 ... and that was four years ago."
.And then there is the future to think of. "So many companies are cutting manpower and costs. I really worry about our children's future: Will there be enough jobs for them and us?"
.Soh Poh Huat also reflected another worrying trend: "I am just wondering whether our employers support our Government's policies. Recently, my sister-in-law was demoted and had a pay cut when her employer discovered she was pregnant. I hope the Manpower Ministry or labour movement will 'shame' such companies."
.Michael Loh Yik Ming summed up the conundrum thus: "The young working generation today have been trained well to look at life in terms of assets and liabilities. The truth is, children today are liabilities; a drain in terms of time, money, attention and almost every part of any parent's life.
."Indeed, reflecting upon their lives, they have come to realise that they themselves were a burden and liability to their own parents. We hear stories of parents mortgaging their homes to provide funds for a university education, or even pulling double shifts just to make ends meet, or for that extra dollar for music lessons."
.So, how can we get parents to see kids as not liabilities, but assets?
.Wong Teck Hian ("Having babies — the costs and the joys", Aug 24) suggested granting further housing subsidies progressively, the more babies a couple has.
.Tan Keng Soon ("To boost births, reform the CPF", Aug 23) offered a unique solution. Harking back to the old days of farming communities, he noted that families were large for very practical reasons — manpower for farmwork, and a source of support for parents in their old age.
.But that compulsion to have babies no longer exists today. It can, however, be recreated. Tan suggested mandating that children, once they start working, contribute to their mother's CPF account — becoming, in effect, a source of "pension funds" for the parents.
.In response, readers pointed out problems, such as the fact that children who already have it tough enough at the start of their career (servicing housing loans, for instance) will be even more burdened.
.Some, like William Tay, found it "disgusting" to think of babies in terms of assets and liabilities. Charles Tan Meah Yang found it "extremely worrying".
."To suggest that we impose further controls over our money, our children's money — and to arbitrarily decide what percentage of a child's salary his parents deserve — is appalling, and reminiscent of a chauvinistic Chinese era long past," he said.
."What of abusive or absent parents, would they qualify? And what kind of upbringing would a parent give a "cash cow" child? One with all work and no play, I suspect."
.Such passion can be appreciated. But in this flawed world, must we bow to the modern reality of human nature — namely, that Singaporeans won't have babies until they are convinced of how it will tangibly benefit them?
.Lynn Tan argues that for young couples today, investing in oneself makes more sense than an uncertain investment in a child.
."Past generations adopt the get-married-and-have-children mentality without question and assume it is part of what my grandmother calls 'the circle of life'. But with a generation of married couples who are well-educated and who value their freedom and quality of life even after marriage, children are no longer top priority," she says.
."Rather than investing time and money in a child where the returns are not guaranteed, it might make more sense to spend that time and money on pursuits that will elevate your material status, broaden your mind or improve your general well-being.
."My husband always reminds me that when and if we decide to have a child, we must do it without expecting anything in return. I find this very difficult because I feel that it is this expectation that strengthens the parent-child bond ... for me, there are other priorities a-calling."
--------------------------------------------------
i never realise that i love kids after my girl is around, after seeing my nephews & nieces. it could probably be an influence from my mum who babysitted 7 babies before.
my parents had to suffer a penalty from the govt becos they have 4 children (during their times, 3 is the max). Irony....now they want more kids. (can i request for a cash rebate for my dad now?)
what's the crap about govt giving more perks? what's the idea of "investing time and money in child where the returns are not guaranteed, ...pursuing dreams"? you can still pursue dreams with kids around.
top 5 reasons couples avoided having kids:
- not enough money.
- have not fulfill that vacation trip.
- need to further study.
- no one to take care of kids if born.
- no time.
Verdict: Coward and Selfish.
ask yourself this: "do you like kids or children?". do you dare to take the ultimate challenge in life "raising your kid to be a useful person in the society"?
i was with an IT Manager the other day, he has 4 kids now (kudos!). his wife is not working (cos her job is to raise and mould their kids to become respectable and responsible people when they grow up). he looked so stressed with work but was glimmering when we talked about kids.
DON'T EXPECT RETURNS FROM KIDS. pay it forward <- watch this DVD (by Kevin Spacey).
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