understand your soulz

At different stages of our life, friends come and go. Sometimes, even BFF at no longer around even when we wanted to as we move into courtship, marriage and setting up a family.  However, we make new ones along the way.  In my case, I felt the number of friends are almost constant at different stages in life.  A male friend might leave but another will come into your life. Someone passed away and a new character will appear. It is almost like we are programmed or it could be just our nature , personality and the limited time we had each day.  We choose to believe in the latter that the character decides the way we work, make friends and have fun.  Time to recap whomever that is important left and who came into your life. 

 I always felt that my life experiences are in phases.  Moving on from childhood friends to secondary friends to gaming friends, poly friends to army kakis and working colleagues. These friends never stick with me for long, only a limited handful, that's my life I presume. With each phase, friends come and go. I don't really have strong attachment or close relationship with most of them. Maybe to them, I appeared snobbish, cold and too intelligent to joke around. Only the close few that knew me, knew me.  I like to observe, I can be alone and does things alone. That's probably why my circle of friends are small and smaller than most people.  But have you ever wondered? Whenever your friend 'leave' you in that stage of life, someone would take over his/her place. The amount of people that you are allowed to 'hold on' to, it seems fixed. It could even be the case when you get to know a new friend, somehow you will find another 'missing'. Is it because ...

humans always like to hear good comments / things about themselves... including me... but i have learnt to accept the realities that i am not any superior than any human beings around.  i appreciate friends that tell me in the face that i cant sing, draw, etc.. that my actions are wrong...  these are the true friends... they can f* you and you are still best buddies... you dont mind telling him/her off too if they are shitty some days... try it... or look around your friends' list... 

memories is what we hold on to for us to continue our life journey. sad memories ensure that I need to make this journey better without regrets. happy memories enforce my beliefs in helping and loving people. regret is how we sighed to that past... losing her ..

Neilson Sim , used to be with our group of gamers (since 1990).... we were crazy backed during our sec and poly days... console gaming hangout at Super Mario (City Plaza), arcade gaming at Wywy (Marina Sq), movie at Shaw Lido, disco at Hard Rock Cafe... this 'routine' lasted a few years before we get enrolled into NS or settled down with family... those were the days, till now, we kept in contact once a year and our group would gather for dinner... with whatsapp, keeping in contact. becomes easier.  Wenzhong (or Lao Gao - Monkey in Hokkien) passed on 4 Jun 2015 in a freak car accident... apparently, his wife survived...  Its really fated that I came to know this accident when i visited his FB since his bday fell on 12 Jun... deja vu... we had not kept in contact for almost 2 years plus since he started to borrow $$ from our group... we tried to message and call him but no pick up...  he said he will be in Vietnam for work but we saw photos of him in Singapore and...

A relationship requires the joint effort of two parties to maintain... Where is the trust if u need to constantly check on each other? At some point of the day, we need personal time, some required lesser time, some more. It doesnt mean that they need to do something... I will just sit and do some soul searching... You can call it daydream... Read this book recently, 5love languages... Every relationship whether it is with family, friends, couple should come with request, not demand... When u make a request, u give respect and confidence to other parties... When u make a demand out of the relationship, the other party's love jar is always empty.... No one likes to be commanded even between boss and staff... Practice making requests, and you can see yourself being happy when others are happy...